She did some soul searching regarding what she wanted to change about herself after her divorce—“change to be my highest self.” The problem, she notes, is that physical wounds are more obvious; emotional damage can hide deep within us. We want quick solutions but this is a journey that requires lots of time and energy. Though the book is from a woman’s perspective, I think what she says is equally meaningful to men. Equally beneficial to the one who leaves and the one who is left.

I particularly liked the section where the author says that (over time) one’s divorce is worth celebrating: “I was on the floor crying in the fetal position unable to breathe when my husband walked out on me. I thought my life was over. In reality, my life had really just begun, because now it was on a path that led in a more meaningful direction… I need to send my ex a thank-you note because, in retrospect, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was set free to dance.”

Even though it’s been twenty years since my divorce, I feel I learned something about the “power struggle” between a married couple. Mostly, this stems from lacking a true sense of self. This analysis not only illuminates our own situation but also that of trying to understand our parents (and eventually the marriage difficulties of our children). Tammy Lynn speaks about her deceased, alcoholic grandmother whose difficult losses in life the author only came to really appreciate after her own divorce.

But in terms of Lynn’s situation there are three core beliefs that she says have made a difference: 1. Have faith in a higher power (and that there is purpose in life), 2. Work hard every day to achieve your goals (“I encourage you to NEVER, EVER, compromise again! People compromise because of one thing, which is low self-esteem), and 3. Appreciate and be grateful for what you have. She adds, “Making a list of desirable and uncompromising attributes in a partner could have saved me a lot of pain in a marriage that was doomed from the start.” Better late than never, we might say, for her as well as for ourselves. This is a quick read that could change your life for the better. Buy it, share it with others and be appreciative of people like Tammy Lynn who care enough to talk about what we need to hear.