Anne Bauer learned at a young age that she was adopted.  She also learned her two brothers were adopted.  A constant feeling of incompleteness defined her life in one way or another.  She knew she needed to know why, how, who.  She also needed to find these answers without sacrificing her relationships with her established family.  

I found this story to be fascinating on two different levels.  I am a mother.  I can't imagine how horrible it would be to give away a child.  How would this affect the child?  Are they happy?  Are they looking for me?  Have I done the right thing for the child?  Anne gives the answers bluntly.  She writes of her longing, her feeling of maybe not really belonging anywhere.  On a different level, I am the sibling of an adopted child.  I have witnessed first hand these questions being asked and how they are received by the adopted parents.  There is this constant fear on all sides.  What if the mother wants her back?  What if the mother rejects her?  Why is my love not enough when I chose to bring you into my home?  I can almost feel Anne's feet tingling and her palms sweating as she waits for someone to answer the phone at her birth mother's house for the first time.  She has no way of knowing what is going to happen and if she's maybe made a horrible mistake.

We spend our childhoods believing in the happy ever after.  As adults, we learn very quickly that there really is no such thing.  Our expectations rarely survive in the cold light of day.  I have often wondered what happens after the adrenaline of the tearful reunion dissipates.  What would you say?  What would you ask?  Is nature the same as nurture?  How does everyone fit together?

Anne Bauer has done a nice job answering all these questions.  I realize that she is only one of hundreds of thousands of such stories, but I just really enjoyed hers.