But wait a minute. Aren’t men the ones who have trouble understanding love relationships? So if Microsoft helps a man understand, then maybe, just maybe, this book is doing what it sets out to do, though I confess what I like most are all the background tracts. It’s just fun to read interesting stuff and Tim Kellis has no limits (I particularly enjoyed the parts on Freud, James and the hundred plus pages on Carl Jung). That said, there are also some good points about the dynamics between a couple. Why do we treat friends (and even strangers) more as equals than we do our spouses? And aren’t problems intrinsic to character as important to solve as expounding on how we “feel” about them? The author states that, “People do not go to relationship therapy because their relationships are wonderful. Our therapists are simply not exposed, professionally, to successful relationships. After all, how many happy couples seek help from therapists?” Maybe we do need to turn to others for a fresh perspective. And why not a Wall Street analyst with a background in mechanical engineering?

So we read about John D. Rockefeller (Standard Oil) and Alexander Graham Bell (AT&T) and learn the difference between arguments and disagreements — “The negative relationships are those relationships where one or both people in the relationship struggle for market share in the decision making process.” Uncontrolled power is not allowed in monopolies or the bedroom. Then it’s on to the life of Martin Luther King Jr (on overcoming prejudice) and the author’s own entrepreneurial / quite personal autobiography. And here we have insight beyond the practical platitudes.”For you to find your personal happiness you must understand your own story.” This — understanding his own story — is what Tim Kellis has been doing all along. It is what we must do too. We can “think through our conflict,” but the author’s letter trying to salvage his relationship with Suzanne and the transcript of a session he has with their therapist about the couples’ counseling experiences show how complicated and heartbreaking that story can be.